touch

Saturday, April 18, 2009

My experimental Excel Spreadsheet which was supposed to help me track my many sexual partners was doomed when I hit #32 with my main guy. Now he's the one to remind me of how many guys I have fucked since we met. Precisely since he has been in the room half of the time. I only remember the ones who fucked me good and there has been ZERO since I met him.

Maybe my expectations are up in the various constellations but I'm extremely sensitive to touch. I love feeling soft hands all over me which is why I love being touched by women. My lover's hands are soft when they caress and tease but rough when he wants to take control of my body and make me come.

And as I fuck these supposedly "experienced" men who engage in the swinger lifestyle, they suck at the most basic thing: touching. Do I just happen to bang a lot of guitarists, men who use their hands a lot? Have you ever heard of HAND CREAM? Lubriderm? If your hand is this rough and you jerk off, then is your cock all buffered and sharp on the edges?

And then comes insertion. Your hands on my skin obviously did not turn me on as I feel your hangnail on the most delicate part of my body. You're seriously going to shove your dry, calloused fingers inside me? And then just wiggle? Not even wiggle but this weak 1mm/second motion that forces me to seek refuge with someone else's cock in my mouth.

I guess I'm just spoiled. My man has the perfect hands and every time he touches me, I am overwhelmed wtih anticipation. I don't know if it's going to be soft or rough, gentle or hard, light or firm. My heart starts beating and I gasp out loud when I finally know and feel what he's doing.

I'm lying awake in bed, sleepless and restless. Something is missing and it is not just his Midas of Orgasmic Touch... but his touch is also the most soothing and comforting. Even when we are perfectly still, the sheer proximity and closeness...