a slutty swinger story

Thursday, December 25, 2008

We've been kind of like Pinky and the Brain lately... "What are we going to do tonight?" "The same thing we do every night."

FIND PEOPLE TO FUCK!

We had extremely good luck the other night: the couple was hot and ready, we both got ours, and at the end of the night, the keys I had dropped on our way there were found lying on the sidewalk. Extremely lucky!

Our other encounters, not so much. Swinging is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get. When we search for other kinky couples, the guy ends up wanting to suck my man's cock. Even though he said he'd take one for the team in cases of fugly chicks with hot dudes, we do draw the line at male-male contact. When we search for couples closer to our age, there are just way too many issues with these pseudo-sluts which makes the scene more like Real World Las Vegas than a hardcore porno set.

On one end, you have the empty nest couples who are very comfortable and confident, and know how to have a good time. On the other end, you have these younger couples who are very insecure in their relationships which makes swinging a bargaining chip that keeps the less enticed half locked in with incentives like a Black AmEx card.

And then there's us. I probably can't answer eighty percent of the questions typically asked between significant others and I know I would make a horrible Cranium partner because we're on different brainwaves, but I am extremely comfortable with him. More comfortable and compatible with him than most of these couples who 1) lack the years together or 2) lack the honesty in their intentions with each other.

Maybe I've just got it wrong. I don't even see it as a lifestyle. I don't want to share my lives with these people. I just want to fuck them and if they're good, I'll fuck them again. I don't want to know about their kids, their jobs, their secret Mac & Cheese recipe (maybe a yes on that). A lot of these women who consider themselves swingers are still very insecure with themselves to see me as a threat. Of course I'm 20 years old and usually the most ready & willing girl whose cervix has never been dilated, but that's besides the point.

When I walk into a room with him, I know who I am and I know who I am to him. We're there for a reason and we leave together with the thrill and excitement that only makes us more into each other. I don't see him differently after he gets blown by another girl, I see him as even more so belonging to me. Of course my girlfriends who are in monogamous relationships are never going to experience that same thrill, so I do feel sorry for people who don't have what we have.

I'm just really glad my year took a swing (pun) for the better. I upgraded my Honda to a Lexus (hell yeah, the Japanese do make better cars!) and I also upgraded a string of useless men to one who makes me super happy and makes me squirt like a fountain. All the "numbers" before my magnificent 32 would run away at the thought of entering a group sex scenario with me and would deny me the fantasy of being cast under their submissive spell.

"Look, we can't do this 24 hours a day, 7 days a week." Why the fuck not?

We'll fuck in public, fuck in front of people, fuck other people, I'll fuck someone else while he watches on webcam, etc... So many pleasures to be had with this one. And finally, the wretched feeling of crawling into bed after making a booty call is not cold and dirty. But rather intimate and his grip on me whether it's around my chest or my neck, makes me feel like I'm...

Unfaithfully yours,
Panda.